Tales from The Swollen Corpse Read online

  Tales from the Swollen Corpse

  by Sam Williams

  Tales from the Swollen Corpse

  Copyright © 2011 by Sam Williams

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  This book is dedicated to my beautiful wife whose love and encouragement made it possible. As well to my friends over at HMC (especially MOH, DH, and WM) whose encouragement has also been invaluable.

  Contents

  Apocalypse on Aisle Six

  The Well

  Gibberish

  The Hill

  Mr. Bagneris

  Scavenger

  Rotted Soil

  The Vampire Next Door

  The Epicures

  The Witch in the Basement

  Two Crows

  Bad Drugs

  The Krampus

  The Ghost Eaters

  A Fade to Blue

  Expansion

  Redlands

  Apocalypse on Aisle Six

  It was f'ing raining, f'ing raining. Heather had asked if I brought a jacket when she had dropped me off, sometimes she's more of a mom than a girlfriend. I told her I would be working the front, so it didn't matter. But nope, it was fucking raining and Barb sent me straight to garden as soon as I clocked in. It wasn’t pouring, really more of a mist. But it was cold, wet, and gray.

  I told Dan, if it got any worse I was closing up early, screw Barb. Dan was a good guy to work with. He was a little older and a bit of a burn out, but easy going. It had been thirty minutes since the last customer. I couldn't leave the register so I had been watching Dan enthusiastically stack the fertilizer bags. Suddenly he stopped and looked up at the sky. I looked to see what he was looking at. Earlier it had been a solid gray, no clouds, just a grayish mist as far as the eye could see. But now there was an orange glow way up there.

  “That's crazy.” Dan said, slack jawed.

  “I know, think it's the sun trying to break through?” I asked.

  “Awfully late for the sun to be out.” Dan shrugged then got back to stacking.

  Suddenly the garden register phone rang. It was Barb, There was supposed to be some real bad weather coming in, she said to go ahead and close up and come to the front. I told Dan what Barb said. He said he would lock up but asked if I could go tell the dude in the back we were closing up on the way out. “Thought we were empty.” I said.

  “Nope, some dude in a suit's been hanging out in the back by the cinder blocks for an hour.” Dan said.

  I walked past the ferns and saplings. Looking up, I noticed the lights were on now. Through the open space above a stack of bricks I saw the brown pants leg of a man standing in the next aisle. Walking around an end-cap displaying grass seed, I saw the man. I knew something was wrong. “Mister, we're closing the garden center, please bring your purchases inside when you're ready.” There was a pause, then he slowly turned to face me. When he turned completely, I saw something my brain couldn't accept. The part of me that's always slow to catch up, wanted to ask if the guy was ok. The smarter part of me took over and started screaming like a little girl.

  The thing in front of me was a corpse, and with no mistake, it had been dead for a very long time, until recently that is. This thing was ugly as the suit it had been buried in. I was about to run when I heard laughing from behind me, it was Dan.

  “Dude, you are screaming like a… holy shit.” Dan was standing next to me. He was looking at the thing in bewilderment.

  I stopped screaming and almost snickered to myself when I looked at Dan. He's got the same look Digger used give the screen door. Digger was the best dog I ever had but he wasn't quite right. Sometimes he would come running full speed to come in but the screen door would be shut, bam. After he bounced back a few feet, he would just sit there with his head cocked back and that same look of confusion that Dan's had.

  “Dude, I think we need to go inside.” Dan said without taking his eyes off the thing.

  “I think you're right. You got the keys?” Before Dan could answer the thing lifted its arms to reach for us, baring its rotted teeth. Dan and I needed no other encouragement. We bolted for the door, hollering the whole way. Inside, franticly I reached for the switch to turn off the automatic doors. He and I pushed the doors closed. Dan pulled the keys out of his pocket and locked it.

  We stood there looking out the door in terror. A minute went by, then a few more. Fear turned to curiosity. We both pushed our faces against the glass wide eyed, looking for another glimpse of the walking corpse. Then out of the shadows came a foot, then a leg, and it came into view. Even behind the safety of the door we were both ready to split. After a few more minutes it still hadn't made it to the door.

  “Dead guys lagging, Dude.” Dan said, still staring out the glass.

  “I am going to go get Barb.” I said, putting my hand on Dan's shoulder.

  “Cool. I'll keep an eye on him.” Dan looked mesmerized.

  I did a walking-jog past electrical and plumbing up to the front registers. Nicole was working the self checkout. She was the only hot girl that worked here. I joked to myself someone must have told her, because she was very aware of it. With no customers, she sat busy texting as usual.

  “Hey Nicole, you seen Barb?” I don't think my voice reflected the urgency because she ignored me. “Hey!” That got her attention.

  “What? She's over talking to Hector in lumber.” She glared at me before going back to her phone. Probably typing away about how rudely she was interrupted.

  I saw Barb walking my direction from lumber. I would recognize the overall and plaid shirt combo anywhere. Nicole and some of the part-time high schoolers liked to make cracks about Barb and hated getting her shift. She could be a tough manager but I respected Barb. Unlike some of the other dip shits, she knew her stuff, and unlike the others, if we were short handed she didn't hide in the office. Besides that, she was six foot tall and I once saw her unload a pallet of fifty pound concrete bags in under four minutes. Her upper arms were as big as my thigh, and those overalls bore the weight of an immense rack, which for some reason shamefully fascinated me.

  “Hey kid, you ready to work now?” She hollered as soon as she saw me.

  “Barb, you got to come to the garden entrance, there's something you need to see.” I must have looked pretty frazzled because her face went straight to concern.

  She asked what the problem was and I told her that I just had to show her. As we walked past the registers Nicole hid her phone too slowly. Barb yelled over to her to stock the bags while we're slow. At the side entrance, I saw Dan. He had turned away from the door and was leaning against a pallet rack. As I got closer, I could see he had been crying, he wasn't bawling but you could tell.

  “What happened?” I couldn't imagine what would make Dan cry.

  “He's eating Bob.” Dan said, turning so I wouldn't see his eyes tearing up again.

  Bob was the name of a stray cat that hung around the garden center. I am not sure who named him that. He had be
en part of this place long before me. I walked to the glass doors and stood by Barb. She was standing there with the same mystified look Dan and I shared earlier. Sure enough, not more than a foot from the door was the dead guy. He had the cat in both hands and was digging into it like a kid with a slice of watermelon, guts and muck dripping from his face.

  “What the heck?” Barb said, standing there staring at the thing which seemed to be staring back.

  It was creeping me out, so I turned just in time to hear Nicole call over the intercom:

  “572, 571… what's the damn code for a manager...Fuck! Someone get up here now!”

  Barb looked over at me, “Nicole didn't just…” Shaking her head, she turned around waving us along. “Guys, make sure that doors locked and come with me.”

  Sprinting by Barb, I could see two people by the front, they were watching something. I passed old Larry who was on the phone in the customer service counter.

  He looked white as a sheet and yelled as I went by, “Hey, you got a cell phone with you? Try calling 911. I can't get through!”

  I shook my head. Going around the corner, I stopped by the two people who turned out to be customers. They were standing and watching, from a safe distance, an insane scene. At a register, Nicole was crying and screaming. She was holding herself up with the help of a checkout counter. One of her legs was stretched out in front. On the ground and latched onto Nicole's leg by its teeth, was a nasty bloated woman with white eyes. Her grip was relentless and she was stinking up the place. The bloated woman's legs were twisted and mangled. I could see a trail where she had crawled in. Hector was standing over her yelling and kicking. The kicks only seemed to make the woman's fat shift oddly and make Nicole scream louder.

  “Hector, move away!” Barb's voice boomed from behind me.

  Hector backed away with a look of someone that wanted to help but knew they couldn't.

  “Dude…” Dan was beside me now and saw what I saw. Barb was holding a carpet-kicker from the tool rental display. She walked up to the bloated bitch and calmly pointed the spiked pad like a golfer with their club. She raised it and swung, I am sure she must have intended to take the woman's head off. Instead she sprayed Nicole with cheek fat, skin pieces and black blood. Nicole was really screaming now.

  “Holy shit!” said the customer next to me.

  Dan and I looked at each other, then back at Barb. Calmly, she turned the knob on the kicker, extending the spikes as far as they would go. Standing directly over the woman, Barb brought the device straight down onto chunky's head with a dull thud. Pulling the kicker back forced the woman to release her grip. Barb pulled her farther back and with one hand, grabbed the back of chunky's neck. The fat lady started to fuss and fight, making a wheezing sound. She was no match for Barb, who dragged her out the front doors. We watched Barb drag chunky to the curb, where she left her.

  I had the doors turned off and was ready to shut 'em as soon as Barb came back through. I did, then turned around to see Nicole; she was sitting on the ground whimpering. Her leg looked really bad. Hector had the first aid kit and was cleaning it up. Looking up, I saw old Larry come around the corner.

  “After a hundred and fifty tries I finally got through.” He looked baffled.

  “Are they sending an ambulance?” Barb asked, bending down to look at Nicole's leg.

  “They're not sending anything.” Larry replied with a shrug.

  “What do you mean they're not sending anyone?” Barb and everyone else looked at Larry for the reply.

  “The operator said there is an emergency situation going on. Her advice was we should stay put and seal all the doors and when they have units available they'll send 'em. After pestering her for a response time, she said we should plan on spending the night.”

  “Screw that,” said one of the two customers.

  The other, a lady, just stood there still in shock, her items brought up for purchase lying at her feet. The man walked towards the doors, I went to let him out. What we saw outside made us both stop and rethink spending the night.

  Our weekly flyer must have made its way down to hell.

  Seconds ago, when Barb dragged the fat lady outside, the parking lot was empty. Now the parking lot was crawling (in some cases literally) with corpses.

  We stood there in horror and wonder watching the dead people run amuck. Barb walked over to see what we were watching. After peering past me, she turned and walked back to the registers. I turned and watched her nonchalantly walk to a checkout phone.

  Barb's voice came over the loud speaker calm and professional, “Ryan, come to the front. All Emporium shoppers please come to the front immediately. We are now closed.” Ryan worked in the back. I forgot he was here.

  I looked at Barb as she hung up the phone.

  “Yep, we're closed for sure.” I said with a sarcastic smile.

  “Well if there's anyone left I don't want them panicking and doing something stupid like opening an emergency exit and letting one of those things in. If anyone comes up front I'll explain the situation.” Barb replied to me, looking worried for the first time.

  “The situation? Barb, you sound like the 911 lady. What exactly is the situation we got going on, Barb?” Old Larry looked as close to being angry as I had ever seen him.

  “We seem to have a zombie situation, Larry.” The way Barb looked at him put Larry back in line but what she said gave me shivers.

  “Son of a bitch.” Said the man next to me as if agreeing, he stood still staring out the window.

  We all know about zombie outbreaks. But there was a delay for me in accepting what I was seeing. Probably because I never thought I would be witness to one, or at least had been raised to think I wouldn't. I heard the last time it happened was back when my Mom was a kid. Back then, they had a major outbreak in some small Midwestern town called Brecksville. The place was deemed unlivable for years and is now a tourist attraction.

  I saw something about Brecksville on TV the first time when I was five; it scared the hell out me. When I asked my Mom if our town could 'get zombies' she told me there were worse things to be afraid of. She told me about when she was a kid, I guess back then when they were still dealing with the cold war, she and the other kids had to practice a daily nuclear attack drill. Like it would help, after a siren, the kids hid under their desks. In a weird way her telling me about growing up with the constant fear of being vaporized helped dilute any fear I might have developed for zombies. But now, looking out the front of the emporium, not so much.

  Suddenly, Ryan showed up, he looked freaked. “Barb, it sounds like there's a crowd out back and they're banging on the rollup doors, what the hell's going on?”

  Barb went into manager mode, “Hector and Larry, get Nicole to the break room couch, take them with you.” Barb pointed at the customers. “Folks, there is a phone in there if you need it and a TV, which hopefully will update us on what's going on. After you've settled them Hector, I need you back up front and Larry I need you to stay there in case Nicole gets worse or they need something.” Then she looked at Dan, Ryan, and me. “You guys come with me to Tools, I think we need to get armed.”

  Dan had walked up beside me to look out the doors. He had been standing there focused on the insanity outside. After Barb's "call to arms" he turned to me and said, “Fuck yeah. We do.”

  Everyone seemed ok with Barb's plan but Larry. I watched him pull Barb aside and sneak looks at Nicole while they talked. I was pretty sure what the conversation was about and was sure what most of us were already thinking. If that thing was a zombie that attacked Nicole, she was bit and it was just a matter of time before she was a danger to the rest of us.

  Walking up to them, I heard Larry say to Barb “I won't hesitate” like he needed to get a point across. He walked away and I heard him ask Hector if Hector could get Nicole to the couch by himself because he needed to grab something from tools if he was going to sit with them.

  With everything happening so quickly I hadn'
t thought of the fact I needed to call Heather and make sure she was ok. I tried my cell and got a “network busy”. Larry watched me pick up the same phone Barb had just tried to use. He shook his head and said it probably wouldn't be any better. He was right; all I got was a busy signal.

  We waited for Hector to get back and see if anyone else showed up front. I went over to talk to Ryan. He was standing by the door watching the craziness for himself. Ryan talked a lot of bullshit but he was also one of those people that knew a little bit about everything. If anyone had some input on what was going down, he would.

  Looking out the doors, I asked the first thought that came into my head. “Why is it you think some of 'em are really slow, but fuckers like that one act like they're on meth?” I was pointing at a tall shirtless and part skinless man who was running from car to car.

  “It's because the slow ones are old dead and whatever is reanimating them can't compensate for decomposition, if the bone and tissue matter is gone, then it's not there. That dude running over there is new dead.” For a long haired dude wearing an old Mega Death t-shirt, Ryan was a smart fucker.

  A hand grabbed my shoulder and I almost crapped my pants. It was Barb. “Hey guys Hector's back. I am going to need you two to go grab an axe or something and walk the store.”

  Barb put a hand on my shoulder “I want you guys to walk the store. Hector and Dan will too when Hector gets back.”

  I noticed there was something reassuring, sort of parental, the way Barb spoke.

  “Make sure all the doors are secure, look down every aisle and in every bathroom stall. If you find anyone, send 'em up front. If you run into any of those things, try not to get noticed and come back here. Don't do anything stupid, I only want you armed for your own safety.”